Thursday, 15 November 2018

How I handle my relationship Anxiety, and tips to help your own

How I handle my relationship anxiety, and tips to help your own

I've been in a relationship for over ten years now and while everything seems happy and healthy on the outside, on the inside it's been hard, so hard in fact, that I've often been on the brink of gathering up my stuff abandoning everything and running away. It's been bloody hard graft we've had to work and work to handle any obstacles that have come our way and ill be honest it's been mostly down to my anxiety.

When we met, I was trying to be this carefree, happy person, and I admittedly did drink a lot with my friends because I was way too anxious to enjoy myself sober, alcohol loosened me up and allowed me to have some fun. I met my partner through a friend and we have been together ever since. Over the years we have had many ups and downs, lots of money problems, housing trouble, family disputes, and plenty of jealousy mainly because of me and my paranoia. Whenever he spent any time with his friends, I would imagine the worst, wondering if he is out chatting to someone that seems a lot more rational then me, someone without any insecurities, self-doubt, or anxiety. I became very insecure and spent lots of time wallowing in my own self-pity, and it took its toll on our relationship. Everything became comfortable and familiar, and I couldn't go a day without needing some kind of reassurance, and I could tell it was starting to aggravate him so we would argue over absolutely nothing and had numerous breaks because if this.

I've learned myself over the years what can trigger my anxiety and how I can stop it from ruining our relationship, I've learned to bite my tongue and think more rationally, so we don't spend each day at each other's throats and there are several ways I do this and you can too...

Have plenty of trust.

Anxiety can cause extreme trust issues you believe your partner likes or is seeing somebody else whenever their phone bleeps your immediately questioning who it is, and secretly peering over there shoulder to catch a glimpse. It's a good idea to express all your insecurities and try your absolute best to trust one another. 

Good communication.

A relationship can struggle unless you have good communication, you should be able to talk about all your thoughts and feelings. If you have very bad anxiety let your partner know, don't keep it all bottled up it only makes you feel a million times worse.

Don't bite.

If your partner says something to you that makes you feel irritated and upset, try to take a step back, take a few deep breaths and think about what you're about to say next. Having anxiety and depression can force you to say something hurtful, and you can end up feeling incredibly guilty and full of regret. 

Try to not be selfish.

Anxiety can make you continually worry about everything, you can sometimes overlook your partner's feelings because your so distracted agonizing over yours. Try to think about how your partner feels sometimes.

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 if you're dealing with anxiety in your relationship, how do you handle it? xx

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