Monday, 7 January 2019

7 things Anxiety makes me too scared to say

7 things Anxiety makes me too scared to say

Does anxiety make you too scared to talk to people?, Does Anxiety make you prefer to stay indoors, rather than being outside struggling to socialize? Does Anxiety make you cancel all your plans because you're dreading the small talk?

Mine does, and it makes me sick, makes me dizzy, makes me sweat and makes me feel like im some sort of annoying, awkward and needy person. 

I find it really difficult to talk to people, I don't want to embarrass myself any more than I usually do, and the worst bit is as I'm standing about staring at the floor imagining how exactly I'm going to string a sentence together without seeming ridiculous, I see people laughing, joking and looking really calm all chatting to one another like its the easiest thing in the world. How is that even possible, people who barely know each other are comfortable enough to speak about anything and don't seem embarrassed, shy or uncomfortable?

These ten things below are only a tiny snippet of things I struggle to say. Do any of these sound familiar to you?

1. How are you?

7 things Anxiety makes me scared to say

I hate asking this question I start to sweat and have to practically force myself to ask it. I worry because I might sound or look weird, and to be honest when they answer I'm not even listening because I'm wondering why I sounded so funny when I said it, my tone of voice, my body language or if anybody else heard me.

2. What did you say?

7 things Anxiety makes me scared to say

When my thoughts are racing, and I'm finding it too hard to listen because im thinking about what I said before this. I'm nodding along, saying yes throughout the entire conversation then im asked a  question, my eyes widen and I have to embarrass myself once again, they may think I was ignoring them on purpose, and I don't want to seem rude.

3. Would you like a drink? 

7 things Anxiety makes me scared to say

let's say I've invited some friends round, and I know that it's about time I offered them a drink. Sounds simple enough doesn't it? but, when everyone is talking amongst themselves, I don't want to interrupt and be annoying. I usually wait until there is a gap in the conversation, and then comes the actual making of the drink especially tea and coffee which gives me even more anxiety because what if I don't make it right.?

4. Excuse me? 

There have been several times on a bus where I have missed my stop because I'm way to anxious to say excuse me to someone. Usually, I can weave in and out of people but that's not always easy to do so I try and avoid crowds as much as possible.

5. Can I buy a bus ticket, please? 

7 things Anxiety makes me scared to say

Having to speak a bit louder than usual instead of mumbling so the driver can hear me is terrifying, especially with a dozen other eyes directly on me wishing I would hurry up and sit down so the bus can be on its way.

 6. Can I pay later? 

7 things Anxiety makes me scared to say

I have a few bills outstanding at the moment, and after receiving the dreaded letters I have to make the anxiety-inducing call offering to pay at a later date, and that's terrifying to me. I worry that they might say no or demand the money in full. I practice exactly what I'm going to say first although my little speech drops straight out the window the moment they answer.  

7. Sorry I have to cancel? 

7 things Anxiety makes me scared to say

I hate canceling plans, but If I'm unable to certain things because it's sending my anxiety through the roof, then I have absolutely no choice. I'll think of some lame excuse, usually, it's I feel unwell, or I'm waiting for a parcel to be delivered and its one I have to sign for so I cannot leave. Or im praying that they will eventually cancel, and im so relieved when they do. 

Do you struggle to say any of these things? If so then feel free to leave a comment It will be good to know that I'm not the only one. 

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