Wednesday, 6 March 2019

15 things I do on a day to day bases because of depression

15 things I do on a day to day bases because of depression


There are so many things I do each day that a lot of people don't understand and I'm usually told to grow up, It's all in your head, you don't look or sound depressed, just get over it. I don't know about you but that just pisses me off and makes me feel increasingly isolated and emotional. 


I've spoken to many people about depression, and a lot of us don't realize that the simple things we're doing each day do not make us weird or outcasts, it's simply down to the horrendous effects of depression and anxiety. Because I love to help people feel better about themselves and realize that they're not alone. I've chosen to list these 15 things below so you can feel rest assured that they are common and go hand in hand with anxiety and depression. 


Lay awake for hours before getting out of bed. 
I don't do this so much now because I have to make myself get up for the school runs and mum duties, but on the days when my partner takes care of our son, I'll lay there for hours either staring into space or scrolling on my phone trying my hardest to go back to sleep because I can't bear the idea of getting up and trying to make it through the day.


Constantly be on my phone. 
When my son is home I obviously don't do this because most of my attention is focused on him, but during school hours and bedtimes I'm constantly scrolling through social media or playing games. I find it really distracting, and it can help my mind focus on something else entirely.


Canceling plans at the last minute. 
I can make tons of plans to see people and then at the last minute, I'll become so anxious that I'll much rather stay home away from anyone and stay in my own little bubble.


Binge eat
I will snack on something even if I'm not hungry it's comforting and distracting. Although after I'll immediately regret it, think about my weight and worry that I've damaged my health in some way. 


Seem rude or antisocial 
When I find myself in a social situation I struggle with my words, suddenly become silent, and try not to make any eye contact. People think I'm being rude and obnoxious, but I'm really not, I'm just terrified to speak in case I make a fool of myself. 


Freak out about financial issues and bills 
I try to pay bills on time, but when I'm late paying, I freak out and not want to discuss it. I imagine debt collectors knocking on the door and taking me to prison.


Constantly feel tired
I could go back to bed any time of day and fall asleep instantly because I'm overwhelmed with how the day is going and I'm finding it hard to remain calm. However, during the night it becomes so difficult because I'm worried about the day ahead, and I find it hard to switch off.


Being mean to loved ones
I honestly don't know how my partner sticks around, I can go from 0 to 100 real quick and say some truly horrible things. Afterwards I feel so guilty and angry with myself.


Giving up on household chores 
Sometimes I'll refuse to clean the dishes, or I'll neglect to tidy up and people think I'm being lazy but I'm really not, it's just I cannot bring myself to do these things.


Refusing to shower for days 
This may sound gross to some people but sometimes I physically cannot make myself shower, I'll wash and make sure I'm not smelly, my hair is often neglected and eventually, I will have to force myself to shower.


Imagine a better life. 
I sit with the tv on not even watching because my mind wonders and I'm picturing a better life away from depression and anxiety. I imagine being filthy rich, own a lovely big house, go on holidays, have lots of friends, and give my son the best life I can give him without ever being sad again.


Refuse to speak on the phone. 
I'll never answer a phone call, I'll wait until the phone stops ringing and then I'll send a text because I  hate having to talk in case I say something embarrassing or offensive.


Telling everyone that 'Im fine' 
If I'm a little moody or upset I'll never tell anyone, I'll reassure people that I'm fine even though I could break down in tears and have a mini breakdown right then and there.


Constantly remember past mistakes. 
I will sit and remember stuff that happened maybe 10 or 15 years ago or something that happened to me as a child and its never the happy memories it will always be the unhappy ones which I would much rather forget.


Become convinced that everybody hates me. 
I feel like people don't like me instead they just putting up with me because they feel they have to.



Do you feel any of these things?












8 comments:

  1. I experience most of the same things as you. Depression and Anxiety really do suck.

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    1. Yep they're awful and so isolating. Thanks for reading. ♥

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  2. Thank you for consisting of the attractive pictures-- so open to a sense of contemplation.

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    1. I wasn't going to add the pictures at first but I'm glad I did in the end. thanks for commenting. ♥

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  3. You should never be told to grow up because of the way you feel, this is unacceptable! I can totally relate to a lot of these things on your list. Especially the not being able to get out of bed when I wake up.

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    1. Hey, yeah I know its one of the worst things to say to someone and it makes me even more depressed because I feel nobody understands how I'm feeling, it's awful. Yeah, I could lay in bed for hours wide awake, but the idea of getting up is hell. Thanks for reading and commenting. ♥

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  4. Great blog post. Thank you for getting so personal with your own experience. I'm certain this will help many other individuals feel not so alone. My depression and anxiety are pretty moderate, but I still do a few of these. Trying to get out of bed is the one I struggle with the most. Oh, and I never talk on the phone unless I have to. And even then it taxes me for the rest of the day.

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    1. Hey, sorry it's taken me so long to reply to you. That's okay I love that I can help others who are struggling and help people feel less alone. Getting out of bed is the worst even if I have a positive day ahead of me its such a struggle. I also hate using the phone it's awful. Thank you for commenting. ♥

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