Thursday, 11 April 2019

An Extremely Stressful, Anxious Month.

An Extremely Stressful, Anxious Month.

I feel like I haven't posted in such a long time and I'm finally able to squeeze in a spare hour to update you all on why I've been so quiet over the last month when before I was usually posting every other day. 

So a month ago my partner was at work, and he had a dreadful accident which resulted in his index finger having to be amputated it was absolutely horrendous, very traumatic and extremely gruesome. Though however bad it seemed it could have been a whole lot worse and he was just remarkably lucky that it was not his entire hand. He works with machinery and somehow his finger got sucked in, and basically ripped his bone out, so his finger was like mincemeat as I said it was very gruesome. 

He's had to take a month off work now and possibly much longer depending on how well he heals. I'm not gonna lie its been very difficult as he's only really had one hand I've had to obviously look after my son, cook morning noon and night, make plenty of drinks, help out with showers and baths, grocery shop by myself, sort all the bills, tidy every inch of this house, help him eat meals because he wasn't able to cut up food, sort endless amounts of laundry and try my very best to remain positive each day and keep his spirits up.

We've had our moments and he's been understandably pissed off and took it all out on me, I've occasionally snapped which I've felt appalled with myself for he is truly going through it at the moment and the last thing he needs is me stressing him out as well but I'm human and there's only so much I can take. It got to the point where I encouraged him to go and see his doctor because he was feeling really down, depressed, he would experience terrifying flashbacks of the incident, he couldn't sleep, he was crying and nothing I could say was helping him. I truly thought they would do something and maybe prescribe something to help him deal with this, but all they did was assure him that it was completely natural to feel this way after amputation it's just the shock and he would feel better as time went on, he was basically told to ride it out and it would eventually pass.

After a month of not knowing what was going to happen next, we finally had some good news he no longer has to wear bandages because he needs to let the air get to it to help it heal, he's actually able to use his hand a whole lot more now and can play FIFA which he's very happy about, so all we can do now is keep going and he will hopefully adjust. Witnessing my partner so down has been very upsetting, he's always been pretty strong and barely ever cries let alone sit in the corner of the sofa sobbing into a pillow, its been absolutely heartbreaking and as you can imagine, I've been in floods of tears with him obviously not in front of our son.

Speaking about our son he's been amazing so caring and helpful. He made a little joke the other day that instead of high fives, it will have to be four fives instead, which was so amazing and truly lifted our spirits. He also informed all of his school friends that daddy got bitten by a huge shark and it bit his finger off which caused a lot of parents to come and question if that was true or not. Gosh, kids say some funny things, don't they?

So life is starting to return back to normal and I can hopefully get back on track with connecting with you all. I've been doing a lot of knitting and crochet in my spare time, which has been a godsend and truly helped me relax. I've made a few things and if you would like I'll post my little creations soon and you can hopefully give me some opinions, would you be interested in that? Please let me know in the comments I'd love to show you.

I hope you're all safe and well and please forgive me if I take to long to write another post it's hard to squeeze in the time at the moment, but I promise I haven't disappeared and forgot about you all. I've got a lot of stuff I want to post, and my journal is full of some great ideas which I'm really excited about so please stay tuned.

Much love to you all xx

Tuesday, 2 April 2019

Different types of body language that anxious people display

Different types of body language that anxious people display

When I'm out and about I turn into a nervous, anxious mess and however much I try to calm down and seem normal I know that I'm displaying all kinds of signs that I'm anxious, It's even worse when somebody tries to talk to me then its an entirely different ball game.

So if your anything like me then these different types of body language will definitely apply to you or if your not an anxious person but worried that somebody close to you is, then to take note and try to make your friend as comfortable and less awkward as possible.

Nail biting 

Playing with hair 

 Fidgeting with something in pockets

Lip biting

 Mumbling when talking, stuttering, stumbling over words 


Clearing throat 



Not looking up from the phone 

Staring into space 

excessive sighing 

Struggling to make conversation 

Sniffing a lot 

Constantly moving 

Refusing eye contact 

Talking quietly 

Do any of these sound familiar to any of you?